Calling for reconciliation and healing but still sounding defensive, Episcopal Bishop Joe Morris Doss resigned his position yesterday as head of the Diocese of New Jersey and walked out of the diocese's 215th annual convention.

Leaders of the diocese, meeting in Somerset, remained silent through Doss' 30-minute speech and gave him a standing ovation as he exited the hall. Some opponents said they felt relieved that the four-year feud dividing the diocese was over.

"Being your bishop has not been easy," Doss told the packed assembly of clergy and lay leaders. "But the good moments, of which there were so many, have been spiritually nourishing and rewarding, while the tough moments have been instructive and humbling."

Shortly after he was consecrated in January 1995, Doss began to alienate some members of his flock with what they charged was a dictatorial management style. Supporters of the bishop said his liberal agenda angered a core of conservatives who turned large segments of the diocese against him.

A buyout agreement calls for the financially troubled diocese to pay Doss and his family more than $1 million over the next nine years in increased salary, housing costs and college tuition.

Doss, 56, will go on a paid sabbatical by June but will not officially retire until September 2001, giving him the 30 years of service as a clergyman he needs to win a church pension. That pension will be sweetened by $33,000 annually through 2006. He also will receive a lump sum of $100,000 in lieu of a raise that was promised but never delivered.

The buyout also includes paying off a second mortgage of $150,000 on Doss' family home outside Trenton; up to $200,000 in college tuition for his two children, and $50,000 in relocation and motor-vehicle replacement costs.

An official who helped hammer out the settlement said it was unclear how the financially troubled diocese will come up with the money. Charles Lee, a former church leader, said it's likely the diocese will continue to struggle with its donation to the national church.

Virginia Bishop F. Clayton Matthews, who spoke on behalf of the national church's spiritual leader, Presiding Bishop Frank T. Griswold 3rd, urged reconciliation in the diocese. He said it has not yet been decided who will serve as interim bishop while the long process of electing a new bishop can take place.

"There are no victories," Matthews told the hushed gathering at the Ukrainian Orthodox Cultural Center in Somerset. "But rather a people who, like Hebrews in the wilderness or the disciples on the road to Jerusalem, look to an uncertain future."

Doss said he is hopeful the diocese can overcome its problems. But his speech echoed past studies that found deep geographical and ideological divides in the sprawling diocese, which stretches from Union County south through 14 counties. There are about 65,000 members.

Doss continued to argue that some conservatives have bristled at his support of gay and women's rights.

"He encouraged us to heal, reconcile and reform," said the Rev. Alan French, president of the diocesan Standing Committee and an arch foe of Doss. "I can identify with that, and I want to do that. I don't believe we've excluded people, and I don't think his interpretation of what happened here is correct."